Dearly · ♥ · Beloved

This post is dedicated to those who matter.



Dearest BFFFFF. I know that when you're reading this, you'd be grinning even wider than the crescent moon. Because of your act-cute self, I have decided that you'd go first. What can I say, we've been through so much. We've had our fights, our tears, or hugs and our fears. All the way from Sec 2 where we set out as fellow acquintances first, being ChairWOMEN for our respective classes, to NOW! I don't have to say much because I know I can rely on you to remember all we've been through (: I LOVE YOU LOADS BABE!

The following would be in accordance to the alphabets. Since there's so many of you, I'll not leave you messages, but you guys know I'll love you no matter what. Karo you owe me BIG!

Anne Choo


Benjamin Ethan Lim PIG! en


Bennett Ong (+ Bushy & ZengZeng)


Byron Koh (+ Jerome please report location Yeo)


Claire (+ Eileen) Chua


Fusi


Goldie Goh


Huizhen Goh Rosemary


Isabel Wong & Purselyn Tan


Jeraldine forever our baby Koh


Jia Wei Lee


Mindy Ng


Ryo


Terrence Liew


Tse Min Lim


Vanessa Loh Ya Shi (finally right ness?)




Disclaimer! To those who don't see their faces, it's not that you don't matter. It's just maybe I don't have your picture or I missed your name on the alphabet so I was too lazy to fill it in, or because I wanted to get to Ness ASAP. So there! I love all of you still, and miss you as I do.

It's finally over. All the post-relationship truma that I (subconciously) reluctant to let go of, all those & more. They're gone.

I guess it takes a spark like this (for him chick) for me to realise it's really really over, it's time to get over it. Though they had to put it right to my face under my nose splat right into my skin, it was good that reality hit me hard. I cried my last tear for him today & swear that I will never ever cry over it again. & somehow, I felt happy after that. Just the thought that there was someone who'll make him feel that special way I did to him, drew the truest smile on my face. Maybe I'm just happy that he's happy. Or maybe I'm just happy that I finally got convinced to move on.

This time, it's for real. So really, no more emotional fits.





I thought I knew who you were
I see now you were a lesson to learn
& all I am to you now
is a bridge that's been burnt
Now I was the first to believe
I made you part of my musical treat
And your thanks to me
came without an apology
We wrote Lovin me for me, Don't walk away, Can't hold us down
All part of your history
Don't forget infatuation, I'ma fighter
feeling underappreciated
this song's for you
to remind you that I moved on
Sang my songs, I've no regrets.

I went into the future and saw my results. Guess I'll be in J2 4 months from now.

It's not a crime to dream ok.

But anyhows, night study has been productive for the past 2 days. Today not as much, maybe. But now, I've officially made best friends(after Karolyn Gan) with MATHEMATICS. I'll face it, I'm a geek ): Far from how I actaully was in Fairfield, this influencial environment in CJC has actually made me accustomed to study more than a month before Terms or major Exams.


Studies aside, Suddenly, after not going to school yesterday, I recieved the $3 from someone today (in the panadol container box). It's kinda cool. At least I don't even have to open my mouth. (: so thank you, Someone. (If you're even reading this blog)



Sweet thangs, you make my days so fine.
Forget about what tensions are made up of,
just remember that they never last,
& always resolve.
I love you, & you.
Forever & ever, XOXO.

Just give me a microphone for my thoughts to talk in. So I won't have to go through the trouble of forcing my mouth to open.

I just dont get why this always happens to me. Not to say that the first problem was already solved. Until now, I still haven't gotten to talk to Mr Lee JW. No matter how much I wanted, a smile was all I could give & take in return.
This year, the problem arises- again. I CAN'T ASK FOR 3 FUCKING BUCKS! What's so tough about saying, "Boris, can I have $3 for Goldie's thing?" What's so hard! I really wish for us to talk.

They were boys whom I loved dearly. & one small mistake turns them against me. & it's happening again. Why?
It's a frikkin vicious cycle that I revolves around me every frikking year. I've had enough. I'm going to solve it. Soon. Or so I always say. Everytime I tell myself I'm going to do something, I end up chickening out.

The fear of rejection, maybe.

Every time along that narrow pedestrian path, with that fenced up football field with overgrown grass and under-appreciated pastures, that oak tree on the left, that sign board right in front, & that blue gate I walk through every morning as I adjourn out & evening as I return home around the bend, those words that someone once said would be set in repeat mode.



"L__ is nothing, You mean more to me."


FINALLY GOT LASENZA BRA WITH CLAIRE!
THANKS BABE FOR TODAY!
IF ANYTHING, I YOU DID QUITE A NUMBER ON MY GLOOMYNESS.
I LOVE YOU!


& I screwed up my history test on SEA bad. Lets just say that I'll make sure I get that 25/25 for the next test so I can secure a fitting pass. Maybe, if I ever retain, I'll take H1 History instead. Because I swear I can do Cold War history better than SEA. Plus, I hate SEAn history.


I wanted something
that's purer than the water,
like we were.
It's nothing now,
if eloquence and anger
are all we have.